Roots
by Sunspiration
Summary: Life sucks, so what do you do about it? Make it suck less! Or more. She really wasn't sure at this point. Meet Root - reborn in a world where the strong rule and weak survive - or die trying. In order to change the future - she'll need to claw her way to the top. "When you hit rock bottom there only way left to go is up." Semi-Self Insert. Slow Updates.


Life sucks, so what do you do about it? Make it suck less! Or more. She really wasn't sure at this point. Meet Root - reborn in a world where the strong rule and weak survive - or die trying. In order to change the future - she'll need to claw her way to the top. "When you hit rock bottom there only way left to go is up."

Roots.

\- Chapter 1 -

"The Dirty Details."

Life is funny ya know? I was never one to believe in most religious concepts. Sure, I was raised in a Christian household but my family was very loose with practicing and preaching it. Hell, the worst I got was a scolding for bluntly saying that the "Bible wasn't true". I grew up being pretty unbiased about who believed in what, but always did think there was something out there. Of course, back then - I never really grasped the concept of Gods, spirituality, or heaven forbid - reincarnation.

But life had a funny way of proving me wrong - very, very, wrong.

I don't remember my death very well, but I remember that my life was pretty boring and sheltered. I lived life not being very social, had about one or two friends, and the most momentous thing I achieved was graduating High School. I was a shut-in, a recluse who only had to worry about if I could afford the newest video-game or if the dishes needed done.

Funny thing, I didn't die in some dramatic way - I simply died in my sleep, heart attack I guessed. I never was the healthiest of people, so it didn't surprise me that's how I would go.

I'm rambling, but really I don't have much to do. I can't see, I can't hear, I can't speak - but my panic attack had been over quite a while ago. I figured if this was some sort of Hell, at least it's comfy - sorta. It was wet and cramped but warm and snug - so I got that at least? I still don't know where I am or why I'm here but I'm sure something will happen soon…. right?

Suddenly the wet, confined place I'm in starts to constrict, painfully so. I feel like I'm being pulled through a hose in some sort of crazy, disturbing, theme park ride from hell. A blast of cold air on my wet and possibly slimy body caused me to shiver as I gulped for air ready to release a retort. But what came out wasn't a scream or yell, but a cry - a shrill, infantile, surreal cry as I squirmed and wiggled against my own internal desires.

Horror spread through my mind as the situation dawned upon me. I wasn't in hell - I was just born.

Holy shit, I just experienced my own birth! It was both shocking and morbidly fascinating and all parts disturbing. I would continue to cry my little lungs out as I was picked up by what felt like latex or rubber - possibly hospital scrubs. And was wrapped in a thin, sterile smelling blanket, only to be handled to someone - who I presumed was my mother.

I suddenly found myself suckling on something as a warm liquid entered my mouth. 'What is this….? Whatever it is it's good!' I thought as I felt the hunger I didn't even realize I was feeling ebb away. My body grew tired and lax as I let out a tiny yawn, nuzzling the woman who (I presumed) was my mother - as I feel into a hazy black sleep.

I don't know how much time had passed but it seemed like I could finally see - albeit blurrily. An infant's eyes were terrible at first so I could only see what was directly in my face. When I opened my eyes I had the unfortunate pleasure of staring into the visage of something I'd imagine came from a science fiction novel - an alien.

I did the only thing I could do with this realization - I wailed, loudly. The creature looked alarmed my suddenly noise-making as it clamped its white gloved hands over where I supposed it's ear were supposed to be. It was hard to tell since the 'alien' as I dubbed it - since it was pretty much your average sci-fi alien. It was a dark blueberry shade of blue, standing a bit hunched over.

It's large bulging eyes were slightly to the side of it's head - almost like how rabbit's were. Its head - if I could call it that - was long and hairless ending up looking like those "xenomorph" creatures from the movie Alien. Oh god! Is it a face hugger?! Oh, what's that? It seems to be wearing some sort of armor - wait - that was some scarily familiar armor.

"Can someone shut this damned monkey up?!" Yelled the blueberry alien who I just decided on calling him "Blurple" - because of his blue face which was slowly turning purple in anger. I finally decided to stop my tears as I realized both mentally and physically that I was in no danger - much the Blurple's relief.

"What's going on? Why isn't the saiyan in it's incubator? 'Whoa, WHOA, WHOA - wait a minute! He didn't just say what I thought he did, did he?!' I screamed internally as the reality of the situation finally began to come into clarity. 'Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck' - "I was trying to but it wouldn't shut up! Where is the runt's sire?!" Another alien similar to Blurple came into view only he was a dark pink color - andddd I have no name for this one. I guess I'll just call him "Steve". I wanted to say "Hi Steve." But all that came out was a cute gurgle complete with bubbly spit and a gumless grin - brilliant.

"Who's child is she - give me that damned file or I'll- oh, here it is…" Steve calmed down enough as he started reading the bulky looking datapad. "Well looky here! Lord Frieza's favorite pet monkey had a kid!" I tried my best to understand everything they were saying but some words sounded odd and foreign - must be some sort of alien speak since I couldn't understand it. Weird, cause I understood most of what they said just fine!

Showing the tablet to the other alien near him it was angled enough that I could actually read the (conveniently english) words.

ID: 53726

Name: Root

Oh...

Race: Saiyan

O-Oh…. no-nononono!

Sire: Bardock

Bearer: Gine

No! Sonuvabitch! God damn it! What is happening?! Why is this happening!?

PL: 3.5

Details: Female, Healthy, Tail Intact, No Birth Defects. Power-level is exceptionally low, subject is to be prepped for 'Population Culling' on Planet #555 - Plisk.

I couldn't read any more as the alien pulled the datapad away - but my stomach felt like it had dropped into a endless abyss of icy cold dread.

I wasn't just reborn, I was reborn in the universe of Dragon Ball Z.

FFffffffffffffffffffffffuckkkkkkkkkk!

It's official, the universe hates me.

So I did the only thing I was good at so far - I cried, As loud as I could.

Sadly Blurple and Steve didn't seem to like my voice very much.

"WILL SOMEONE SHUT THIS THING UP?!"

* * *

 **A/N: Heya everyone! This is my first fanfiction and first DBZ fanfiction! After reading SilverQueen's Naruto self-insert story - "Dreaming of Sunshine" as well as the countless others inspired by it - I decided to give my take on the genre! This time with Dragon Ball Z - mostly because I'm on a DBZ kick and because I haven't seen one done like this with DBZ. Hope you guys like it! So please - rate and review! But keep the flames on the downlow? I burn easily. :[ Until next time, Cheerios! ;]**

 **A/N 2: Quick clean up done! Fixed typos, added missing words, and tried to explain things in better detail. Sorry for the mistakes! I'll try to do better next time! :]**


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